LAS VEGAS When our first child was just a few days old, we were waiting in the pediatrician's office when we witnessed a cute little girl throw the most impressive temper tantrum. I remember being in awe at how she threw herself on the ground, kicking and screaming as if possessed by the devil. She just looked up and said, "We have to let her just have her tantrum.
" And I remember thinking, NO WAY will that EVER be my child. I will never put up with that kind of behavior from my sweet baby girl. So here we are 31/2 years and another child later.
And I have to say there are quite a few things that I do, or allow, that I'm certain would have shocked me in my childless days. I always imagined that when I would venture out with my kids, they would look like I actually tried to make them presentable - hair combed, adorable outfit, face wiped. Now I realize I don't always want to fight the 3-year-old who believes having her hair combed is the equivalent of having teeth extracted without anesthesia.
So what if it's a complete mess? My baby can't seem to stop getting food on her clothes. She refuses to wear a bib, so we've taken to just removing her shirt when she eats.
She still ends up with dried food on her pants, though. So I broke my own rule, I guess. That baby definitely leaves the house most days with food on her clothes - or her latest, bananas in her hair.
And what about food that falls on the floor? When I was single, I swore I would never, ever let my kid do something as appalling as eating something that had dropped on the floor. But, hey, when a Cheerio drops and the baby waddles over to pick it up, I don't flinch.
The floor is pretty clean, right? We probably have a reputation around town. I can hear it now: "Oh, here come the Wagners with their dirty kids and baby who eats off the floor!
Can you imagine?" "Mommy has to potty, and then I can play," I tell my toddler. Or: "Can Mommy get that for you in a little bit?
" I seem to have developed a strange, cutesy language of my own when I talk to the baby. "You have yucky POOPERS! Time to go night-nighters!
" I say as my voice goes higher and higher. What am I even saying? Oh well, the baby loves it.
I never thought I could be so obsessed with bowel movements - how many, how much and what they look like. Ew. I never thought I'd be thrown up on, spit up on or peed on so many times I can't count.
If the baby just gets a little food on me, I simply wipe it off with a wet towel and head to work. If I changed every time I got something on me, I wouldn't have any clothes to wear. But I still can't believe I actually wear a shirt that has been spit up on or smeared with wet Cheerios.
Then again, I also never thought I would worry so much, be so frustrated with such tiny human beings and then wake up the next morning and miss them as if I hadn't seen them in days. asap columnist Angie Wagner is an AP national writer. You must be a user to post comments.
Your comment will be published at the bottom of the story. Once a comment is submitted, you will not be able to edit or delete the comment.
News RSS