Rated PG-13 for some mature thematic material, sexual content and language "Gray Matters" doesn't. It's one of those completely disposable and clumsy attempts to make a gay romantic comedy that constantly slips on its own good intentions.
No matter how desperately you want to see a lesbian romantic comedy starring Heather Graham ("Boogie Nights") and Bridget Moynahan ("I, Robot"), you don't want to see this.

For one thing, voyeurs, this is another one of those curious films where sex is the major preoccupation but no one is shown having sex. Phooey on that. But worse, it's one of those comedies that is supposed to be filled with laughs, but isn't.

First-time writer-director Sue Kramer doesn't do herself any favors with the preposterous premise.
Graham plays Gray, an advertising exec who lives with her absolutely bestest friend in the whole world, her brother Sam (Tom Cavanagh of TV's now defunct "Ed"). Together they do things like ballroom dancing at senior centers and going to dinner parties and loving old movies (yes, it's a gay, gay, gay, gay world).

Sam, though, meets a lovely lady named Charlie (Moynahan) and after precisely one date they decide to run off to Vegas and get married. Gray of course comes along, and after spending a night partying with Charlie she realizes -- omigod! -- she's also in love with this gorgeous creature.

Which means (eek) she's gay!
The rest of the film is about Gray coming to terms with her own gayness and the fact that she's in love with her brother's new wife. Now obviously, this has happened to most of us, so we can relate.

Oh, wait: No it hasn't. In fact, has this ever happened to anybody? And if it did, would the two females in question happen to look like Heather Graham and Bridget Moynahan?

The film's believability quotient runs just below that of the upcoming "Fantastic Four" sequel.
Which might be OK if the writing was funny, but it's not. It's painful.

Case in point: Our heroines go to see Gloria Gaynor in Vegas and end up on stage with her, dancing and singing "I Will Survive." The scene -- like the film -- is so obvious and strained that it hurts to watch.
And that somewhat neatly sums up "Gray Matters": It hurts to watch.

Not because it's a movie about lesbian love. Because it's a bad movie about lesbian love.
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