Right firstly I am going to give up smoking sometime in the next couple of days.
You have all been warned..

..approach with care.

Secondly I have been accused of lying on multiple occasions (you know who you are) ...

.since this issue is never allowed to resolve , and I might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb , I am going to start lying..

.spectacular great big whoppers , on every given occasion , from this point on you will never be able to trust a single given thing I say..

..including this (oooooh gotcha double bluff he he)
I was standing in my kitchen this morning (in me pants) , what a tip !

.
I feel a cleaning fest coming on..

..a beast cleaning frenzy for the un initiated is like a military campaign.

.. nothing suvives the relentless onslaught .

So sometime soon I will assemble me arsenal of cleaning 'weapons' , I will be stripped down , cammo'd up...

.I AM GOING IN .
Maybe it would be easier to get a cleaner again , the last one was brilliant , until she got deported , I wasnt so keen on the one before that, she had a look about her , I bet she used to spend her time pawing thru me underwear drawer
Good day my loveley's , I have just been going through my excercise schedule , and I just dont understand why I am not an absolute god.

I have recently started walking in and out of work (its more of a yomp to be honest) , thats a good half and hour each way.I go to the health club 6 days a week and always iether run or swim for twenty to thirty minutes and then weight train on about 4 of the days. I have a personal trainer(Hitler in a vest) two days a week for an hour of hell.

I AM STILL A LUMP , Beast the human space hopper.
Life is cruel and then you die , but I will possibly be the first person to die of donut and/or crisp(chips for our american chums) poisoning (light bulb goes on)..

...

...

.Ah maybe theres the problem.
So I am gonna have to give up my favourite snacks AND give up the ciggies.

To this end I have purchased some snuff...

He He I am going to be such a fop...

I may just buy a lace kerchief and a monocle to complete the new beast look...

.