In conversing with a friend recently the question of what kind of tattoo would Jesus have if he had one came up...
.because what else would we be talking about right?
So would his sun darkened, leathered skin display the holy ideologies of God's directing or would it simply be the latest catchy phrase of the B.
C. Jewish culture? Would he wind up getting something that seemed cool at the time but would be irrelevant and possibly dated after a few years?
Think swirling Tasmanian Devil equivalent of his time. Or possibly an 80's styled rose.
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As he leans over to multiply a few fish or restore the crumpled leg of a broken man his robe slips down ever so slightly revealing the phrase "No Fear" emblazoned across the small of his neck.
The onlooking crowd gasps then snickers to themselves knowing that anyone with such a tattoo could only wish they never got the thing done in the first place. The disciples look at each other with looks speaking to their ever increasing doubt that this really is who they hope it is. Questions pop up in their minds like "Is this really the Son of God?
" or "If Jesus is the Son of God couldn't he have used his powers to take a peak at the future cultural landscape and discover that such a tattoo would cease to be cool a few years down the road?"
Jesus would quickly recover I'm sure. Possibly muttering something about being young and stupid or creating some sort of distraction with a well placed miracle of some sort.
"Hey look! More fish!"
I'm sure this wouldn't wash the image of a tattoo splayed across Jesus' neck from the disciples minds entirely.
It would only serve to delay the inevitable. Later on as the disciples inch closer to the fire, fighting off the chill of a dessert night, the topic would resurface.
"So.
...
."
..
.awkward silence would build as if to gather it's strength, eventually culminating into a statement that spoke to what was on everyone's mind..
.
"..
.what was that on Jesus' neck?" Grunts of agreement to the question's relevance would be heard all around the camp fire.
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And I'm thinking about all the Christiany types of things I've seen people tattoo on themselves. I don't think Jesus would relish the idea of a cross enough to make it on his list of good things to have tattooed. The tried and true Jesus fish thing would really just fall short.
WWJD could really come across as self aggrandizing. Not that Jesus didn't have every right to self aggrandize but I just don't think that's a route he would have taken. Come to think of it, I wonder if Jesus ever asked his disciples when they were about to do something stupid, "come on guys.
...
what would I do?"
A scripture reference would probably really work for Jesus since he was always quoting them. Especially since he could just come up with something new on the spot if nothing that had been written up to that point suited his fancy.
Would Jesus get a tattoo? Who knows. Lately I've been picturing him with wooden ear rings but that's just me.
I wonder if guys in the 70's pictured him with an afro? I guess that's the thing about Jesus. Being without a face, we're able to interpret his appearance in whatever way makes the most sense to us.
I think he's able to bridge social, cultural and economical boundaries in this way.
Take this picture for example:
Pretty standard really. It's funny how the most widely excepted portraits of Jesus, in reality, couldn't be further from the truth.
For many people the picture of a middle class, well groomed, white Jesus is the most comfortable way to see him. Whatever works right?
Then there's this one:
Now this is a bit too Back Street boysish for my taste but I'm sure it makes sense to someone.
Or what about this one:
This comes to you curtousy of CNN who somehow figured out what Jewish guys looked like back in the day. Think confused caveman. Personally I find this portrait kind of ridiculous.
It's not working as far as I'm concerned.
There's the black Jesus:
You've got the latest rendition:
and then there's this guy:
This was brought to my attention courtesy of Kate. This depiction actually answers a number of questions:
1) Jesus would indeed get a tattoo
2) We now know what tattoo he would get
3) We also get a pretty good idea of what Jesus would look like were he born in a trailer park somewhere in rural Oklahoma.
I guess I could show you portraits all day. Images that have, over the years, popped up in our gallery of icons. Man's ongoing attempts to put a face to someone who at times seems more like legend than historical fact.
Then again at times Jesus seems more real to me than anything else in this world.
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I'm not sure how I wound up showing you portraits of Jesus but there it is. I guess this whole post is driven by my underlying desire to think of Jesus in a humanistic way.
I believe theirs a lot of tension between Jesus' deism and his humanism. It's easy to sum him up by what he's been recorded saying in Scripture. I don't think this is a wholistic picture of God's Son however.
It's the really important parts of course but his day to day life is all but lost between the cracks.
I guess this is me trying to fill in those cracks.
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