Italian Fashion: Shoes of Reality

Editor Note: This article is not about Italian shoes in particular; but, it is a fun to read article about women's shoes so I decided to add it anyway to my fashion section - An can be found here. So, I am standing in the middle of the shoe isle thinking to myself 'why'. Why, you ask, is it that women have to scrounge around for shoes that look sexy and alluring, without killing their pocket books or toe joints?

This question is one that I ask myself every time I enter a shoe retailer. Shoes the passion of my feet, the drainer of my pocket book, and the fetish that I can not leave alone are a never ending quest for many women. And many females, like me, have their own desires and perceptions on the matter.

The price of footwear ranging from two dollars (obviously for the later discussed flip flop) to hundreds of dollars per a pair is staggering. Generally, I try to keep the price of my shoes at half the value of my outfit, but lately I have noticed that my outfits outlay half the price of my footwear! And that figure, even derives from shoes procured at designer warehouses and retail stores like Wal-Mart and Target (Shh!

I do not normally admit the latter revelation).
Even though I am appalled at the prices of many shoes (and I am somewhat ashamed to say that I have fallen prey to the pricier styles) I am more disenchanted by the comfort level of shoes. And this desire applies to both physical and social avenues of comfort.

This season, spring 2005, is no different than any other in the footwear department. I desire lots of feet adorning accessories. Flips flops, always an easy find, with chunky heals, low heals, beads, sequins, and sometimes chains have all found their way into my closet.

Slide sandals with tiny decorative silver buckles, sling-backs with just a hint of sophistication and a whole lot of flare, and boots with just the right give to not cut off the circulation at either my knees or ankles are also must haves. But what I do not want are shoes that crush, squeeze, or mangle my toes in any manner. My skin color is not pink, purple, or scarlet so, my toes should not be either.

I do not want shoes that are so low to the ground that going barefoot would be the same, and I do not want shoes that have a heel so high that my five foot three frame becomes five foot ten. Only women born in a five foot ten frame, i.e.

women like Faith Hill, should carry themselves as such. Otherwise, imposing such a substantial increase in your natural height puts you in jeopardy of assaulting your altitude senses. Thus, the faux height increases my cause an unsightly nose bleed.

Also, anyone watching these women tote about in super high-heels either shakes her head in awe/shock/fear/disgust or feels sympathetic pain in her own feet. Accordingly, women of the world should unite. We should demand shoes that allow us to be sexy, cool, and sophisticated while not damaging our spinal columns, not becoming dizzy from the lack of oxygen at altitudes half a foot taller than our natural figure permits, and not looking like we should be posing for a porn-star spread.

Really, who wants to be teaching, delivering office mail, checking people at the check-out, or a plethora of other work related activities and have to fend off the seductive glances of men all day? I, for one, do not. I have no desire now, or ever have had one, to wear the infamous "fuck me on the linoleum floor" high heeled shoes.

More importantly, do not expect me to wear shoes when their shape resembles a slice of pizza. Yes, I know that my toes are not intended to slide into the v-point, but look at the shoe, look at your feet, and then wonder if that is really a natural or becoming look. Then again, the pointy toe with the stiletto healed shoes always come in handy in a dark alley.

Sure, I think that I will buy a pair to tote in my purse for the next time I need to fight off a pack of roving dogs or such the shoes are probably better for the environment than my can of pepper spray anyway. I have been told by many a beau that "heels are sexy," but until I see him tote through an eight to twelve hour day in a pair . .

. Actually, I should stop there. This visual is getting to be too much, and a man in my high heels should not leave the bedroom.

But, in a classic cliche', men do have it easier brown verses black lace up shoes (and sometimes they wear a boot). If only. .

. But, seriously . .

. give me comfort, give me freedom.
That should be our manifesto, ladies!

But, while giving me comfort, do not make me look like an overgrown pre-schooler. Grown women, heck all women over the age of ten, should not wear any version of the classic Mary Jane shoe. No buckles, no saddle shoes, and no ribbons and bows on the toes of adult women's shoes should be seen.

Ladies, admit, they may look cute in the store, but do we really need the added thrills and frills on shoes that we wear to the office? More importantly, if a man wants us to look like a school girl, let him see it in the bed room. Pigtails and Mary Janes are not flattering.

Additionally, do not sacrifice my comfort for an overachieved "earth" look. Yes, I will admit that I own more pairs of flip flops than all my other shoes combined, and that my family and friends openly snicker about my collection (although they all show signs of being consistently worn), but shoes that do nothing for your stature should be left at the store. Shoes should say something about you, not define you.

This statement even applies to Birkenstocks. And yes, I own a well-worn pair of those too. Birks are shoes of comfort, to be worn with jeans, long flowing skirts, or with shorts.

These shoes say I am giving my feet the day off today because forty hours a week in high heeled, spine tingling, toe cramping, and arch support deteriorating shoes is more than enough. Now, I realize that I sound like an "old hag" here, and many of you are imaging me running around in shoes that your eighty-year old grandmother would wear. No .

. . I do not wear those.

I am twenty-eight, give me fifty years, and then I am certain I will be sporting shoes similar to those conjured in your minds. At present I just want a shoe with a slight heel, so that my feet do not resemble boats clomping along a city street, and I want my toes to be able to bend and unbend throughout the day. A toolkit should never be needed to remove footwear or unbend my toes at the end of a work day.

But seriously, women of the world should unite for the production of a comfortable shoe that looks good, does not demand plastic surgery for our feet to properly fit the pair, and does not break the bank. At that, I kick off my comfy K-Swiss sneakers, remove my holey-toed socks, and try to find the pair of sandals that will not assault the nerve endings of my feet this season.