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February 6, 2007
(You might think that reality television is one of the signs of the impending end of Western Civilization, BUT if you look closely enough, you can find some important life lessons. So, kids, here rsquo;s another One to Grow On hellip;)
Writers are credited, ridiculous and implausible situations occur, the ldquo;stars rdquo; ham it up for the camera and more air-time, and editing shapes stories and creates characters.
The perfect inarticulateness, questionable and frequently-circular logic, and delusional self-justification of reality show stars are so spot-on, I have to think that much of this comes straight from the source. I know writers: few are smart enough to write that dumb that well. And if the reality TV stars could act that well hellip;it begs the question: why are they on a reality show?
By observing their behavior in their unnatural habitat, we can make a quick list of tips to ensure that you don rsquo;t become the Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth of your office:
If all around you are desperate, your Zen-like blitheness or ambivalence is sure to create resentment. To wit: inevitably, nearly every single season of America rsquo;s Next Top Model, there comes a moment where the majority of the girls sneer over their shoulders at some outcast, saying, ldquo;We rsquo;re just not sure she really wants this. rdquo; As though desire alone can make the model as opposed to, say, genes and an ability to photosynthesize instead of eat food for energy.
2. But don rsquo;t be TOO in it to win it. Note I said ldquo;precisely the same level.
rdquo; If there is one thing that ticks off fellow contestants more than a lack of clawing hysteria to win, it someone with slightly MORE clawing hysteria and/or determination. That is to say, someone who is willing to cross some societal boundary that the majority is not. For examples of this, see every single final tribal council of Survivor ever.
There is usually a moment where someone has to stand up and petulantly confront the final two about breaking some pact or telling some lie. This, despite the fact that nearly everyone in the game has done some variation of the same thing. But to get caught playing the game too hard is a fast track to Villain-ville.
3. Don rsquo;t keep it real. No one actually wants to know what you REALLY think.
You might not want to front, you might call lsquo;em like you see lsquo;em. But a civil society is built on all of us white-lying through our teeth on a regular basis. If, like Tiffany Pollard, New York from Flavor of Love, you want to tell your fellow contestants that they look like a transvestite or trailer trash, that is of course your prerogative.
In reality world, you might even get your own show out of it. You will, however, also get spit on, have shoes thrown at you and cause near-orgies of hate when you show up in a room, so one might want to opt out of this behavior in the real world.
Sometimes you have to be hated or shunned to get things done, pay the cost to be the boss, etc. But for smoother sailing under the radar in life, you can look to the Villains and just do the opposite.
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